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Nancy the Tavern Wench _ Alestorm   
10:34pm 20/05/2010
  I know of a tavern not far from here
Where you can get some mighty fine beer
The company's true and the wenches are pretty
It's the greatest damn place in the whole of the city
If you're looking for crewmates, you'll sure find 'em there
Cutthroats and lowlifes and worse I should dare
Ol' Nancy don't care who comes to her inn
It's a den of debauchery violence and sin

So come take a drink and drown your sorrows
And all of our fears will be gone til tomorrow
We'll have no regrets and live for the day
In Nancy's Harbour Cafe

If you're looking to go on a glorious quest
There's a man there who knows of an old treasure chest
For some pieces of eight an a tankard of ale
He'll show ye the map and tell ye it's tale
And then there's Nancy, the lovely barmaiden
She may be old but her beauty ain't fading
Ol' nancy don't care who comes to her inn
It's a den of debauchery violence and sin

So come take a drink and drown your sorrows
And all of our fears will be gone til tomorrow
We'll have no regrets and live for the day
In Nancy's Harbour Cafe
 
      Amuse me
 
   
12:30pm 05/04/2010
  GOING FOR A WALK

JAMES:
Are you ready to go?

Molly:
Go? Go where?

James:
For a walk! We were all going to go out for a walk. Weren’t we?

Molly:
Well this is the first I’ve heard of it…

James:
Molly, you’re telling me you don’t remember five minutes ago when I came in here and said, “It’s a nice night. We should all go walk down to Sam’s.”

Molly:
I haven’t the foggiest idea what you are talking about.

Lisa:
Get your shoes on. You still want to go on that walk right?

James:
Yes. Wait, when did you get here?

Molly:
She’s always here.

James:
Oh, right. What are you doing anyway?

Molly:
I’m trying to figure out this puzzle.

Lisa:
What’s the picture, maybe I can help.

Molly:
Oh no, surely not. I’ve lost the box.

James:
Where did it go?


Ian:
Where all lost things go, I imagine. Before they return to the last place you left them.

Lisa:
Coincidentally the last place you think to look.

Molly:
Now that’s just silly.

Lisa:
Oh?

Ian:
Do tell.

Molly:
Obviously we find the things we’ve lost in the last place we think to look because once we’ve found them, we have absolutely no need to look for them any longer. Am I wrong?

James:
So you don’t think God is toying with us like puppets on strings doing a song and dance written, produced and directed by him?

Lisa:
Or her.

Molly:
Oh heavens yes! Of course God is toying with us, but he is not quite so obvious about it.

Ian:
I prefer shadow puppets myself.

Lisa:
Weren’t we doing something?

Ian:
Of course we were, we are always doing something unless we are dead. I think you mean weren’t we about to do something. Something else, that is. Other than what we are already doing.

Molly:
What are we doing here?

James:
God only knows.

Lisa:
Sam’s. We were getting ready to take a walk to Sam’s.

Molly:
That sounds nice. Hang on, I just need to finish this rainbow.

Ian:
Can rainbows be finished? Do rainbows end?

Lisa:
I would assume so. Everything that has a beginning has an end.

James:
Maybe. Maybe rainbows don’t begin, or end. Maybe rainbows are always there, we just can’t see them until it rains.

Molly:
It’s raining now, I see no rainbow.

James:
Not everyone gets to see rainbows. You have to be at the right place at just the right time.

Ian:
Does time end?

Lisa:
Did it ever begin?

Ian:
What in the world has no beginning and no end?

Lisa:
A circle?

Ian:
Is time a circle?

Molly: (drawing an 8 in the air)
Or maybe a figure eight...

James:
If time is a circle, then do we do this over and over and over and over again?

Molly:
Do what?

James:
Whatever it is we are doing.

Lisa:
Walking.

Molly:
How absurd, if I were walking, how could I finish this puzzle?

Ian:
Perhaps Lisa meant, we are walking through life, blind to what will happen, but nevertheless, we must keep walking. Sometimes we go fast, sometimes slow, sometimes we skip and dance and cartwheel. But still, we must keep going. On and on our own personal strange and exiting journey down the road of life, the road of time…

James:
That’s right! We were going for a walk, to Sam’s. I’ll get my shoes.

Ian:
What’s at Sam’s?

Molly:
Sam’s at Sam’s.

Ian:
How delightful, I like Sam. Well then, let’s go.

Molly: (searching absent mindedly)
Orange…

Lisa:
Wait, so are we going on a walk to see Sam, or are we going to see Sam to go on a walk?

Ian:
I don’t see why we can’t have it both ways.

Lisa:
I don’t think that makes sense.

Molly: (looking down at the piece in her hand)
Blue?! What?!

Ian:
My dear, whoever said anything about life making sense? When you take a few moments, hours, even years to think about life, why, you might find that there is more nonsense in the world than anything else!

James:
Nonsense! What are you talking about?

Ian:
You hit the nail on the head, my friend. Have you got your shoes on?

James:
Oh, right. (looking down at his hands) Huh. I have my left shoe, and my right sock.

Lisa:
Can you tell the difference between your socks?

James:
Well it’s certainly not the wrong sock.

Molly:
No! Blue again?! I’m being attacked by blue.

Ian: (has two pipes in his mouth)
I am the walrus. Coo Coo Ca Choo

James:
If you're the walrus who am I?

Molly:
The carpenter?

Ian:
My friend I think it's obvious who you are. The Mad Hatter.

Lisa:
Are we ever going on that walk? It's getting late.

Ian:
Don't be such a white rabbit.

Molly:
My mother knew a man who worked for a science lab. They did tests on white rabbits. They shot chemicals into the veins in the rabbit's ears. The chemicals made them glow in the dark. It was the man's job to kill the rabbits when they couldn't be used anymore.

Lisa:
aw.

Molly:
He used to sneak them home in his lunchbox.

Lisa:
What happened to all the rabbits?

Molly:
I don't know. Perhaps they became pets for elementary school classrooms. At 3 o clock the doors are locked and everybody goes home, oblivious to the scientific mutation in their glow-in-the dark class rabbit.

James:
How's that puzzle coming along there?

Molly:
It's no use. Every time I try to finish the rainbow I can't seem to pick up anything but blue pieces.

Lisa:
Perhaps some things aren't meant to be finished.

Ian:
Perhaps nothing is ever finished. There is only a changing and exchanging of energy. Life is like a magic act. Things appear to come and go, but under the surface, things are merely changing, adapting. Death fuels life. The phoenix sets itself aflame in a blast of glory, only to be reborn from the ashes. The universe expands with a bang, and contracts only to be set off again with another bang.

James:
Is that really what you think?

Ian:
It's a theory of sorts.

James:
Because I finished the puzzle.

Ian:
Dude, you don't get it, it's not really finished.

Molly:
Oooooh. Ahhh.

Lisa:
Let's see then.

Ian:
That's not a rainbow.

Lisa:
Oh. It's tropical fish.

Molly:
Well, that's something. Let's frame it!
(She signs it)
James. You sign it too.
(she tries to pick it up, it crumbles)
my puzzle!
(she sits down, furiously trying to put it back together)

Ian:
I'm sorry Molly.

Lisa: (cheerfully)
I'd love to help you, but I don't want to.
(Lisa, James, and Ian exit)
(after a moment, James re-enters)

James:
Are you ready to go?

Lisa:
Go? Go where?

James:
For a walk! We were all going to go out for a walk. Weren't we?

Molly:
Well this is the first I've heard of it...

James:
Molly, you're telling me you don't remember five minutes ago when I came in here and said, "it's a nice night. We should all go walk down to Sam's."

Molly: (directed toward the audience)
I haven't the foggiest idea what you are talking about.

FIN
 
      Amuse me
 
judaism   
05:42pm 01/02/2010
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/39_categories_of_activity_prohibited_on_Shabbat#The_thirty-nine_activities

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_creation_story_of_Judaism

http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Judaism/jewsevolution.html

Intro
"In the beginning..."

The story is similar to...(persephone, etc.)

creation of the Jewish belief/moral system,
(Noah)(Moses)

issues with evolution
conclusion
 
      Amuse me
 
   
03:02pm 04/01/2010
  1. You are walking in the woods. Who are you walking with?
A border collie

2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal is it?
dear

3. What interaction takes place between you and the animal?
I stand very still and watch as it stands very still for a long time and then walks away, eating.

4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your Dream House. Describe its size. smallish, cozy but with high vaulted ceiling

5. Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?
a hedge

6. You enter the house. You walk to the dining area and see the dining table. Describe what you see on AND around the table. old nice antique round wood with detailed carving, dusty, dry flowers in a vase, blue glass

7. You exit the house through the back door. Lying in the grass is a cup. What material is the cup made of? metal

8. What do you do with the cup?
take it with me
9. You walk to the edge of the property, where you find yourself standing at the edge of a body of water. What type of body of water is is it? the ocean

10. How will you cross the water? swim

Find the results below...

Mi a name I call myself...


I just started a blog. Check it out at http://dailyfuckerybyrachel.blogspot.com/

Oh blog, I've done it again.
http://aquarianmercury.blogspot.com/
 
      Amuse me
 
Dec 6   
08:50pm 06/12/2009
  http://www.wmich.edu/mus-theo/courses/keys.html

Am/ / /
There's a quarter of a man in the market
F/ //
With a quarter of a car so its easy to park it
Am/ /F
He gets to the counter he saves what he can
Am/ / F
But he only saves a quarter he's a quarter of a man

.......................

Now this quarter of a man he got fired

The next damn day he got hired hired

The only thing wrong with this plan

He only gets a quarter he's a quarter of man

CHORUS
Am EmC GAm
Every day he's on the street
AmEm C G Am
Too few quarters to live or to eat
Am EmC GAm
He's so little the people all stare
F
But he only pays a quarter fare
Am F
Oh......

Now the quarter of a man's on vacation

But he still gets his ration

When he gets to the market he pays what he can

But he only pays a quarter he's a quarter of a man

CHORUS
 
      Amuse me
 
   
09:29pm 14/02/2009
  Wednesday
I knew you not well,
but you died on a Wednesday.
I hate that day too.
Posted by Sparklepants at 11:00 PM 0 comments
Labels: Ray Winters
Tuesday, May 13, 2008


Natural Materialism
I sit beneath
a mountain of discarded clothes,
in plastic forest

Posted by Sparklepants at 4:17 PM 0 comments
Labels: I love your smoothies, Miss Jennings
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About Me

Rachel Peppermint

View my complete profile



Crazy Fields
I'm in one blue field
The air smells good, I like air
Look, you see that spark?
Posted by Sparklepants at 10:22 PM 0 comments
Labels: fucked up, well this is fucked up

This is not yesterday anymore
My feminism
is not your feminism...
or maybe... it is?
Posted by Sparklepants at 2:55 AM 0 comments
This is still today, I haven't slept

How come the first drag
off a just lit cigarette
is always the best?
Posted by Sparklepants at 2:49 AM 0 comments
Labels: Adrian came over today
Sunday, May 18, 2008

Megan
Strings loose, wild hair,
singing, strumming soft, sweet songs,
Innocent stoner

Posted by Sparklepants at 5:10 PM 0 comments
Labels: It's rather hot

Yesterday's Poem
In the art graveyard,
we're creating destruction,
creating a change
Posted by Sparklepants at 4:57 PM 0 comments
Labels: throwing rocks at a crooked tree across the water
Friday, May 16, 2008

Jaguar
Sign language whispers
The night when the world stands still
The future will know
Posted by Sparklepants at 2:40 AM 0 comments
Labels: what's new pussycat
Thursday, May 15, 2008

No Seven Wonders
No hanging gardens,
No painted temples to Zeus
No pyramids here
Posted by Sparklepants at 2:38 PM 0 comments

Terrible Tranny
You are an awful
example of a person
Ms. Calpernia
Posted by Sparklepants at 9:08 PM 0 comments
Monday, May 26, 2008

Acid Eye
He was at a rave,
they coated his glass eye in
acid, he tripped balls

Posted by Sparklepants at 10:36 PM 0 comments

Poor Planning

Moon is void of course
Mercury in retrograde
And I don't know what...
Posted by Sparklepants at 10:35 PM 0 comments
Saturday, May 24, 2008

Isabella

Why does it seem the
Politicians are ill fit
working government?
Posted by Sparklepants at 6:03 PM 0 comments
Labels: measure for measure
Friday, May 23, 2008

Soviet Work Day

I don't use my hands
on my smoke break, I must keep
picking potatoes
Posted by Sparklepants at 10:34 PM 0 comments
Labels: Bandana
Thursday, May 22, 2008

floating

Sometimes I wonder,
What's the meaning of our lives?
Where did we come from?
Posted by Sparklepants at 9:41 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Beisbol

"...of course," she exclaimed
with a chuckle," you always
smoke another one."
Posted by Sparklepants at 7:43 PM
skip to main | skip to sidebar
Daily Fuckery by Rachel

Friday, June 6, 2008

In my closet

It's scary and dark,
but kinda cool all the same
because I am high
Posted by Sparklepants at 9:39 PM 0 comments

Lady MacBeth the Pimp

How do I say," no?"...
"You're gonna do this for us,"
"...to the one I love?"
Posted by Sparklepants at 9:35 PM 0 comments

Blanket Truth

Two cans fell over
"shit, it's a double whammy!"
but they were empty
Posted by Sparklepants at 9:33 PM 0 comments
Labels: I just came out of the closet
Saturday, May 31, 2008

Joi de vivre

One day I will go,
To France, and spend my days with
Wine stains on my shirt.
Posted by Sparklepants at 12:31 PM 0 comments
Labels: Buy yyou a truck, call you a trucker, that son bitch is a bad mother fucker

Go-Getter

Come to me darling
When the moon is in Aries,
In Aries tonight
Posted by Sparklepants at 12:30 PM 0 comments

Chance Music

Brick building window,
Smoke goes on up to the moon,
"Mary," cries the wind.
Posted by Sparklepants at 12:27 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, May 28, 2008

oven door

Making garlic bread
I think it's about finished
shit, the door fell off
Posted by Sparklepants at 9:23 PM 0 comments
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Sunday, June 8, 2008
http://zoejuarezsucks.blogspot.com/
ok
Posted by Sparklepants at 5:30 PM 0 comments
Posted by Sparklepants at 5:29 PM 0 comments

Brenna Marlene Moloney

I like that she's strange,
because normal is jading,
and strange is a thrill
Posted by Sparklepants at 4:58 PM 0 comments
Labels: Jesus camp is really rather silly, yet terrifying

My redhead

There's a spark in her
That breathes fire in my soul
I cannot help it...
Posted by Sparklepants at 4:56 PM 0 comments
Labels: magic, red-haired women
Friday, June 6, 2008

It's not!

I have to tell you
Your new "jacket" looks like it's
A button down shirt
Posted by Sparklepants at 9:56 PM 0 comments

He thinks I'm a cokehead

Tonight I found out
Andy Hock is not coming
To my show. Fuck him.
Posted by Sparklepants at 9:51 PM 0 comments
Labels: I'm gonna do some CRACK COCAIME

Projection

I love you because
there's a whisper of her in
your beautiful face
Posted by Sparklepants at 9:42 PM

First Ho in the White Hizzouse

Michelle Obama,
wow, she's really cool and black!
wait-why should I care?
Posted by Sparklepants at 4:57 PM 0 comments
Labels: also, I wrote this on the job

Unworthy Sacrifice

sure, the yanks might have
democracy, so what? That
shite they drink ain't tea
Posted by Sparklepants at 4:55 PM 0 comments
Labels: I wrote this on the job
Sunday, June 15, 2008

O, the wonders of salt

Before this we would
season our food with ashes
from the fireplace
Posted by Sparklepants at 11:27 AM 0 comments
Labels: Bah, M Night Shamalan
Saturday, June 14, 2008

Cat Lady

There is a lady,
or so I've heard, who recites
Shakespeare to her cats
Posted by Sparklepants at 12:06 AM 0 comments
Labels: in peace nothing so becomes a man..., once more, Once more to the breech dear friends, or close up the wall with our English dead

What happens in the shower, stays in the shower...

I like the shower.
It's a place where I know I
will always be clean...


Posted by Sparklepants at 12:03 AM 0 comments
Labels: shennanagans

What I do

"I gave up all these
records to see you," he said,
"but it was worth it."
Posted by Sparklepants at 12:00 AM 0 comments
Labels: what would you do for a Klondike bar
Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Will

Guess you've got your mind
made up, you'll be livin'
in a whisky cup

Posted by Sparklepants at 6:48 PM 0 comments
Labels: I know you've got your mind made up, you've been livin' misunderstoode, You've changed

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Night time whispers

Love me, just touch me,
I want you inside of me,
complete me, hold me
Posted by Sparklepants at 8:08 PM 0 comments
Labels: golden brown, texture like sun

class

My sweet dessert wine,
cruella de ville smoking,
posh, lonely woman
Posted by Sparklepants at 8:01 PM 0 comments

3rd house

my dear Gemini,
I can't predict you at all,
help me keep guessing...
Posted by Sparklepants at 7:59 PM 0 comments
Labels: air

The power of silence

Can you replace these
in the case for me please, dear?
...no, I'll just do it.
Posted by Sparklepants at 4:12 PM 0 comments
Labels: I'm pretending to not hear Derek

tap, tap, click, click, click
two threes in the game she says,
and so it begins
Posted by Sparklepants at 4:10 PM 0 comments

How it blooms

She's seems sure to snarl,
with Saturn's long severe nose,
but, oh her Venus...
Posted by Sparklepants at 4:04 PM 0 comments
Labels: saturday

Don't mind this

Physical Appearance and Astrology


You've probably noticed that the Signs of the Zodiac refer to certain physical characteristics, indicating the potential for either problems or extra sources of strength within one's physical body.

One's physical appearance is most strongly affected by the Ascendant, or "Rising Sign," which is the sign of the Zodiac that is on the horizon at the moment of one's birth. The Ascendant is always the Ruler of the First House in the natal chart.

The First House is the House of the Self, including such issues as one's basic personality, how one is viewed by others, and, most crucially, the physical appearance, facial structure and basic body type, the way you and others may tend to react to your individual physical appearance.

The ability to recognize and "guess" the Sun or Rising Sign of another individual is a skill that can be learned. Familiarize yourself with the physical characteristics, listed below, associated most strongly with each Sign. If any particular Sign exerts a large effect (for example, many planets in Cancer, even with an Aries Sun Sign) on the natal chart, that individual's physical appearance will have characteristics of the dominant Sign.

Here's a fun way to get better at recognizing the way physical appearance is affected by astrology. Get together with some friends whose Sun Signs you know. Examine their physical attributes, and try to separate out those closely resembling the Sun Sign. Then, take a second, deeper look. Does your angular, wiry Gemini friend have a round face, incongruous with the rest of his or her general look? If so, perhaps a Cancer Ascendant is asserting its effect!

How about the genial, laid-back Libra -- with the piercing eyes, compelling gaze, and cut-glass cheekbones? Perhaps a Scorpio Ascendant, hmmmm?

While the Sun sign will generally provide the "basics" as far as physical appearance goes, these basics are "refined" by the influence of the Ascendant. Practice "guessing" the Signs of your friends; with a little experience, you'll most likely be surprised by how effective your "guesses" will become!

Always remember that our physical appearances are actually shaped by genetics. An Asian Aries will obviously not look exactly like an African Aries; a Swedish Scorpio won't superficially resemble a Latino Scorpio. Take a deeper look, while keeping genetic and racial differences into account, and use the Sign Appearance descriptions below in their most general manner. For example, when "light colored eyes," or "straight hair" are listed, this simply means that the eyes themselves will be a lighter shade, not that they'll be blue. An African or African-American individual with an Ascendant usually associated with "naturally straight hair" will not somehow magically be born with straight hair, but there may be more curl than kink to the tresses. It's unusual to find an "olive complexion" on a freckle-faced Irishman, but there may be an underlying "olive" tint to the fair, freckled face. With all that in mind, here are general physical characteristics associated with the various signs.

ARIES: Aries natives tend to have sharp and distinctive features and prominent brows. Aries rules the head and face, and some natives have birthmarks, scars, etc. on the face or head. Males may tend toward baldness -- all that testosterone, perhaps? Strong bone structure, quick movements, and an upright posture are associated with this sign. Some Aries natives have a ruddy complexion, all will tend to have a strong constitution. They may tend to glance around the room, as opposed to maintaining a steady gaze, and tend to have a confident, brisk walking stride.

TAURUS: Frequently large bodied -- not necessarily plump or fat, but could also be muscular and sturdy. Dark hair and eyes -- remember, this could also be dark blue and dark blond as well as brown or black. Serene but steady gaze. Interestingly, Taureans often have smaller-than-expected ears. Their hair tends toward naturally curly or wavy. Ruling the throat and neck, this bodily area is often eye-catching -- maybe a thick, "bull-like" neck, or perhaps a long, graceful one, but generally prominent to the observer in some way.

GEMINI: Expressive faces, reflecting their mood-of-the-moment. Gemini gives off a feeling of energy, even when they're at rest. They may jitter a bit or shake their legs, but even if they're not actually moving at all, there's a sense of energy, simply waiting to explode. These natives often have "small features" -- it sounds odd, but look at the face, and it may seem somewhat doll-like, with the features more centered than spread out. Fast-paced speech, to go along with their quick minds. Physically agile, naturally slim build (although of course, weight gain is always a possibility -- but they'll seem like they "should" be tall and thin, even when they're not). Often pale-complected, with restless eyes, wanting to take in everything all at once, and frequently possess high foreheads.

CANCER: The Cancer native's most prominent feature is a round face. Even skinny Cancers frequently have rounded, soft features, and apple cheeks. Cancer rules the stomach and breasts, and these are often noticeable in some way. The stomach may be rounded and Santa-like, or flat with six-pack abs; the Cancer female's breasts may be large or small, but tend to be well-formed and pleasing to the eye in either case. Rounded eyes, sometimes a "moony" or "dreamy" expression. High cheekbones and a prominent brow compliment the look. Very expressive features. Limbs may be long, compared to the trunk -- even short Cancerians often have a "lanky" look to their arms and legs.

LEO: In keeping with their Zodiacal symbol, Leos frequently have mane-like hair, framing their keen-eyed, well-shaped faces. They tend toward a high color in complexion, sometime ruddy. These natives will have a regal bearing, erect posture, and graceful movements. Movements are slow, but dramatic and, well "leonine!" Often almond eyes, often dark in shade -- again, not necessarily brown or black, but dark blue, dark green, dark hazel. They may have a tendency toward "bad backs," or pain in the back, neck, and shoulder area, although the shoulders themselves tend to be strong and broad.

VIRGO: Virgos possess a gentleness and grace of movement, as well as a youthful appearance, tending to seem younger than their years. Some blush easily, though more often because they've been embarrassed by being singled out, rather than from prudishness. While Virgo's symbol is the Virgin, this doesn't make them cold or asexual, but they do tend to be modest. Bright, clear eyes with a gentle but direct expression, delicate noses, and well-shaped, curvy lips are Virginian traits. They can be obsessed by their own appearances, seeing flaws that others don't, and attempting to "hide" them. You may catch them staring at their own expressions in the mirror, busy analyzing perceived flaws and good points, but only when they think no one's looking! When it comes to the things they can manage about their appearances, Virgo goes to extremes: neatniks and slobs both typify the Virginian nature. Frequently they can look somewhat fragile, but surprise you with their physical strength. May be subject to digestive problems, upset stomachs, and outbreaks of nervousness and insecurity.

LIBRA: Libra natives are truly Venus's children, with well-shaped lips and noses, sometimes heart-shaped or oval faces. Dimpled cheeks and cleft chins are common. Generally well-proportioned features and pleasant expressions, even when they're not feeling pleasant. Movements tend to be graceful, and facial features tend to be more rounded than angular. Another Libran characterisic is a clear and melodious speaking voice. Even Libras who are not conventionally attractive will have a charm to them -- their faces have character, whether they're typically beautiful or not. Gorgeous smiles, and lovely, infectious laughter.

SCORPIO: Scorpio really is all about the eyes. Dark or light, the gaze will be piercing and direct, and unless they're shooting vengeful daggers from them, people will often comment on how beautiful Scorp's eyes are. Direct eye contact is this sign's hallmark, never "shifty eyed." Sharp features, prominent cheekbones and noses, are common, similar in resemblance to a bird of prey. Scorpios tend to have strong constitutions, and often powerful-looking physiques. Often pale-complected -- again, remember, "paleness" does not always equate to "whiteness". Most Scorpios are poker-faced, able to keep their inner emotions from their outward expressions. Ruling the reproductive organs, Scorpio may be prone to possible health problems with same. Magnetic and mysterious, sensual and compelling.

SAGITTARIUS: Sag's most noticeable physical trait is "clumsy grace." Sound contradictory? It's really not. Think of a newborn foal, teetering and tottering on its legs, while still showing glimpses of the powerful, athletic horse it will one day become. Openness and friendliness show in the Archer's face and posture. Sag natives may lean forward when conversing with you, getting physically closer to engage emotional closeness. Broad foreheads and cheerful expressions are the norm, as are quick movements and dramatic gestures. They sometimes play with their hair, mostly unconsciously, casually tossing their head to sweep it back, or grabbing a lock and tugging at it. Sagittarians often have beautiful, clear, sparkling eyes. Naturally, they tend toward a strong, athletic build, but can become plump due to their love of food and drink.

CAPRICORN: When talking to a Cap, folks are often struck by their well-modulated, often deep speaking voices. Capricorns frequently have naturally straight hair, and dark or olive complexions. Lacking the jittery energy of other signs, the Goat will generally make slower, more deliberate movements. When at rest, they'll exhibit steady, somewhat serious expressions. The Goat will generally have a straight, well-shaped nose. Sensitive skin, sometimes subject to rashes, outbreaks, or easy bruising. Noticeable teeth -- perhaps because they're straight, white and even, perhaps because they're crooked or have many fillings. Grace of manner, but sometimes difficulty relaxing; may appear uptight, bored, or uncomfortable, but once they get past their discomfort, they will appear fresh and warm.

AQUARIUS: One common Aquarian trait is a high forehead. Generally soft-spoken and polite, Aquarius can fly off at a moment's notice into eccentricity. These natives often have dreamy, light-colored eyes, naturally straight and light-colored hair, finely-chiseled, attractive facial features, and lovely profiles. They're frequently broad through both hips and shoulders -- males and females alike. They often have strong, shapely legs. Aquarians are very sensitive to weather and barometric pressure, so expect to find them bundled up in the winter time, stripped down in hot weather. Great listeners, equally wonderful story-tellers.

PISCES: Gentleness combined with keen intuition that shows in the eyes. Graceful, quick movements. Pisceans tend to have a quite charming manner and a lovely smile. Ruling the feet, Pisceans often have small, delicate feet, or big old clodhoppers. Pisces hair tends to be soft and fine, sometimes naturally wavy and lighter-colored. Soft skin, beautiful, dreamy, noticeable eyes. Elegant, flowing movements. Even tall Pisceans can appear "small" for some reason. Tranquil expression, languid affect. Beautiful smiles, mischievous grins, tinkling laughter.

For information on New Aeon Astrology's full charting services, please refer to our Services page. For only $10, you can obtain a Planetary Profile, including information about your Ascendant, if birth time is known. We also offer Natal Chart and Synastry ("Relationship astrology") services, constructed by a professional astrologer at extremely competitive rates!


Saturday, December 13, 2008
Full Moon in Gemini
Like cement before it hardens, I can always change.
In a more simple time when the only light that outshone the stars was the moon
mercurial moon children wander the streets, looking for the water-bearer
you're my secretary and I'll dictate to you my rhymes.
When we feast on peace the release leaves menacing

But like a dolphin made of marble, I'll likely sink before I swim
the ink flows eternally releasing experience and emotion
The muses ride flying midnight tonight
Ole, ole, ole, ole, ole, ole
dysfunctional piece, this is how you're mirrorell (?) me

I may have broke my G string, yet I can still finger A minor
an incounter with life style so to speak
Go to the place where the angels fall, there he'll be
I'm never selling this steller copper tube
sunk teeth deep, and We keep free savoring.
Posted by Sparklepants at 12:57 AM 0 comments
Labels: Leham's 20th Birthday poem

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Why I no longer write poems

I hate SPA
I no longer write poems
it stole my soul
Posted by Sparklepants at 1:34 PM 1 comments
Labels: irony
Wednesday, August 20, 2008

June 27th

Six months from the night,
wrecking your home, you told me
your mind was made up
Posted by Sparklepants at 6:32 PM 0 comments
Labels: Aim high
Friday, July 11, 2008

http://www.alabe.com/cgi-bin/chart/astrobot.cgi?Y

...and Wellington Hall,
the nautical skin monster,
he never will fade...
Posted by Sparklepants at 11:41 PM 0 comments
Labels: you looked at me inquisitively
Sunday, July 6, 2008

You

I hear gentlemen
prefer blonds, but I know I
prefer only you
Posted by Sparklepants at 8:30 PM 0 comments
Labels: aw

Killer
He drinks his Coca-
Cola, like vampires drink
Persephone's blood
Posted by Sparklepants at 8:12 PM 0 comments
Labels: Tight Jeans

Little Miley

Britney was sweet, till
she became a teenage whore,
watch out miss Cyrus
Posted by Sparklepants at 8:11 PM 0 comments
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      Amuse me
 
   
02:57pm 07/01/2009
  Prepare ye to come sing about love! Coming to Lane Community College just in time for the end of a cold, bleak winter is Godspell, one of the most famous Broadway rock musicals of all time.

Godspell is unique because it can be interpreted differently for each production. For this SPA production of Godspell, director Chris Pinto made the choice to give the characters in the play undeniably humble beginnings. The play takes place on the streets, where Jesus befriends 12 homeless individuals. The group of unfortunate souls come together and form a community. Prostitutes, drug-addicts, and general miscreants, they are essentially the rejects of society. Exactly the kind of people that Jesus would befriend.

The show abstractly depicts the adult life of Jesus Christ. The baptism of him by John, his 12 apostles, and the inevitable betrayal of his most dedicated follower. However, the show also stands for a more universal concept. When the world looks bleak, when we are down and out, when times are rough and when we are hungry and poor, the only thing to do is to focus on building the community and do what you can to help your fellow man.
 
      Amuse me
 
Writer's Block: Bird by Bird   
02:45pm 05/01/2009
 
It's National Bird Day in the U.S. Do you think it's cruel to keep birds in cage where they can't fly freely or flock with others of their kind?


Yes. I was in the play, "The Birds," by Aristophonies (still don't know how to spell his name though) During the production, I watched birds flock in the air, seamlessly moving together, effortless. People like birds because they have wings and can fly. Birds are mysterious and powerful. Birds in cages are like pieces of furniture.
 
      Amuse me
 
   
08:40pm 11/12/2008
  GOING FOR A WALK

JAMES:
Are you ready to go?

Molly:
Go? Go where?

James:
For a walk! We were all going to go out for a walk. Weren’t we?

Molly:
Well this is the first I’ve heard of it…

James:
Molly, you’re telling me you don’t remember five minutes ago when I came in here and said, “It’s a nice night. We should all go walk down to Sam’s.”

Molly:
I haven’t the foggiest idea what you are talking about.

Lisa:
Get your shoes on. You still want to go on that walk right?

James:
Yes. Wait, when did you get here?

Molly:
She’s always here.

James:
Oh, right. What are you doing anyway?

Molly:
I’m trying to figure out this puzzle.

Lisa:
What’s the picture, maybe I can help.

Molly:
Oh no, surely not. I’ve lost the box.

James:
Where did it go?


Ian:
Where all lost things go, I imagine. Before they return to the last place you left them.

Lisa:
Coincidentally the last place you think to look.

Molly:
Now that’s just silly.

Lisa:
Oh?

Ian:
Do tell.

Molly:
Obviously we find the things we’ve lost in the last place we think to look because once we’ve found them, we have absolutely no need to look for them any longer. Am I wrong?

James:
So you don’t think God is toying with us like puppets on strings doing a song and dance written, produced and directed by him?

Lisa:
Or her.

Molly:
Oh heavens yes! Of course God is toying with us, but he is not quite so obvious about it.

Ian:
I prefer shadow puppets myself.

Lisa:
Weren’t we doing something?

Ian:
Of course we were, we are always doing something unless we are dead. I think you mean weren’t we about to do something. Something else, that is. Other than what we are already doing.

Molly:
What are we doing here?

James:
God only knows.

Lisa:
Sam’s. We were getting ready to take a walk to Sam’s.

Molly:
That sounds nice. Hang on, I just need to finish this rainbow.

Ian:
Can rainbows be finished? Do rainbows end?

Lisa:
I would assume so. Everything that has a beginning has an end.

James:
Maybe. Maybe rainbows don’t begin, or end. Maybe rainbows are always there, we just can’t see them until it rains.

Molly:
It’s raining now, I see no rainbow.

James:
Not everyone gets to see rainbows. You have to be at the right place at just the right time.

Ian:
Does time end?

Lisa:
Did it ever begin?

Ian:
What in the world has no beginning and no end?

Lisa:
A circle?

Ian:
Is time a circle?

Molly: (drawing an 8 in the air)
Or maybe a figure eight...

James:
If time is a circle, then do we do this over and over and over and over again?

Molly:
Do what?

James:
Whatever it is we are doing.

Lisa:
Walking.

Molly:
How absurd, if I were walking, how could I finish this puzzle?
Ian:
Perhaps Lisa meant, we are walking through life, blind to what will happen, but nevertheless, we must keep walking. Sometimes we go fast, sometimes slow, sometimes we skip and dance and cartwheel. But still, we must keep going. On and on our own personal strange and exiting journey down the road of life, the road of time…

James:
That’s right! We were going for a walk, to Sam’s. I’ll get my shoes.

Ian:
What’s at Sam’s?

Molly:
Sam’s at Sam’s.

Ian:
How delightful, I like Sam. Well then, let’s go.

Molly: (searching absent mindedly)
Orange…

Lisa:
Wait, so are we going on a walk to see Sam, or are we going to see Sam to go on a walk?

Ian:
I don’t see why we can’t have it both ways.

Lisa:
I don’t think that makes sense.

Molly: (looking down at the piece in her hand)
Blue?! What?!

Ian:
My dear, whoever said anything about life making sense? When you take a few moments, hours, even years to think about life, why, you might find that there is more nonsense in the world than anything else!

James:
Nonsense! What are you talking about?

Ian:
You hit the nail on the head, my friend. Have you got your shoes on?

James:
Oh, right. (looking down at his hands) Huh. I have my left shoe, and my right sock.
Lisa:
Can you tell the difference between your socks?

James:
Well it’s certainly not the wrong sock.

Molly:
No! Blue again?! I’m being attacked by blue.

Ian: (has two pipes in his mouth)
I am the walrus. Coo Coo Ca Choo

James:
If you're the walrus who am I?

Molly:
The carpenter?

Ian:
My friend I think it's obvious who you are. The Mad Hatter.

Lisa:
Are we ever going on that walk? It's getting late.

Ian:
Don't be such a white rabbit.

Molly:
My mother knew a man who worked for a science lab. They did tests on white rabbits. They shot chemicals into the veins in the rabbits ears. The chemicals made them glow in the dark. It was this man's job to kill the rabbits when they couldn't be used anymore.

Lisa:
aw.

Molly:
He used to sneak them home in his lunchbox.

Lisa:
What happened to all the rabbits?

Molly:
I don't know. Perhaps they became pets for elementary school classrooms. At 3 o clock the doors are locked and everybody goes home, oblivious to the scientific mutation in their glow-in-the dark class rabbit.

James:
How's that puzzle coming along there?

Molly:
It's no use. Every time I try to finish the rainbow I can't seem to pick up anything but blue pieces.

Lisa:
Perhaps some things aren't meant to be finished.

Ian:
Perhaps nothing is ever finished. There is only a changing and exchanging of energy. Life is like a magic act. Things appear to come and go, but under the surface, things are merely changing, adapting. Death fuels life. The phoenix sets itself aflame in a blast of glory, only to be reborn from the ashes. The universe expands with a bang, and contracts only to be set off again with another bang.

James:
Is that really what you think?

Ian:
It's a theory of sorts.

James:
Because I finished the puzzle.

Ian:
Dude, you don't get it, it's not really finished.

Molly:
Oooooh. Ahhh.

Lisa:
Let's see then.

Ian:
That's not a rainbow.

Lisa:
Oh. It's tropical fish.

Molly:
Well, that's something. Let's frame it!
(She signs it)
James. You sign it too.
(she tries to pick it up, it crumbles)
my puzzle!
(she sits down, furiously trying to put it back together)

Ian:
I'm sorry Molly.

Lisa: (cheerfully)
I'd love to help you, but I don't want to.
(Lisa, James, and Ian exit)
(after a moment, James re-enters)

James:
Are you ready to go?

Lisa:
Go? Go where?

James:
For a walk! We were all going to go out for a walk. Weren't we?

Molly:
Well this is the first I've heard of it...

James:
Molly, you're telling me you don't remember five minutes ago when I came in here and said, "it's a nice night. We should all go walk down to Sam's."

Molly: (directed toward the audience)
I haven't the foggiest idea what you are talking about.

FIN
 
      Amuse me
 
Micheal Shurtleff   
01:23pm 09/12/2008
  1. Relationship: Examine the script and determine the relationships your character has with all the other characters.

2. Fighting For: Similar to objective, but stronger because the character is required to fight to achieve the goal.
¨
3. Moment Before: Like circumstances, look for past experiences. Determine how those past experiences shape behavior in the present moment.

4. Humor: We tend to recognize this when see it and people seem to be born with the ability to use humor.
¨
5. Opposites: For every emotion there is an opposite emotion. We sometimes call this mixed feelings.

6. Discoveries: Anything small, new thing that happens.

7. Communication/Competition: Every character has a message he/she is trying to get out. Often there is a sense of entitlement in the communication.

8. Importance: To the character, everything is as important as if it were a matter of life and death.

9. Events: Big, life changing occurrences. Often it is a new thing that carries life altering consequences.

10. Place: More than just the location. It's the location plus how it affects the character.

11. Game Playing/Role Playing: Everything boils down to a sense of finding out what the game is and then deciding whether or to play and whether or not to play by the rules. There are consequences for the decision. Play to win. Everyone also plays various roles through each day. What roles is the character playing as he/she interacts with the other characters?

12. Mystery/Secret: A sense of uncertainty about how much the character reveals about him/herself at any given moment. The character is holding something back and the others aren't sure what to do about it.
 
      Amuse me
 
   
12:42am 09/12/2008
  First, let me tell you whom you have condemn’d:
Not me begotten of a shepherd swain,
But issued from the progeny of kings;
Virtuous and holy; chosen from above,
By inspiration of celestial grace,
To work exceeding miracles on earth.
I never had to do with wicked spirits:
But you, that are polluted with your lusts,
Stain’d with the guiltless blood of innocents,
Corrupt and tainted with a thousand vices,
Because you want the grace that others have,
You judge it straight a thing impossible
To compass wonders but by help of devils.
No, misconceived! Joan of Arc hath been
A virgin from her tender infancy,
Chaste and immaculate in very thought;
Whose maiden blood, thus rigorously effused,
Will cry for vengeance at the gates of heaven.
 
      Amuse me
 
   
12:40am 09/12/2008
  JOAN LA PUCELLE

The regent conquers, and the Frenchmen fly.
Now help, ye charming spells and periapts;
And ye choice spirits that admonish me
And give me signs of future accidents.

Thunder
You speedy helpers, that are substitutes
Under the lordly monarch of the north,
Appear and aid me in this enterprise.

Enter Fiends
This speedy and quick appearance argues proof
Of your accustom'd diligence to me.
Now, ye familiar spirits, that are cull'd
Out of the powerful regions under earth,
Help me this once, that France may get the field.

They walk, and speak not
O, hold me not with silence over-long!
Where I was wont to feed you with my blood,
I'll lop a member off and give it you
In earnest of further benefit,
So you do condescend to help me now.

They hang their heads
No hope to have redress? My body shall
Pay recompense, if you will grant my suit.

They shake their heads
Cannot my body nor blood-sacrifice
Entreat you to your wonted furtherance?
Then take my soul, my body, soul and all,
Before that England give the French the foil.

They depart
See, they forsake me! Now the time is come
That France must vail her lofty-plumed crest
And let her head fall into England's lap.
My ancient incantations are too weak,
And hell too strong for me to buckle with:
Now, France, thy glory droopeth to the dust.

Exit

Excursions. Re-enter JOAN LA PUCELLE fighting hand to hand with YORK. JOAN LA PUCELLE is taken. The French fly.

YORK

Damsel of France, I think I have you fast:
Unchain your spirits now with spelling charms
And try if they can gain your liberty.
A goodly prize, fit for the devil's grace!
See, how the ugly wench doth bend her brows,
As if with Circe she would change my shape!

JOAN LA PUCELLE

Changed to a worser shape thou canst not be.

YORK

O, Charles the Dauphin is a proper man;
No shape but his can please your dainty eye.

JOAN LA PUCELLE

A plaguing mischief light on Charles and thee!
And may ye both be suddenly surprised
By bloody hands, in sleeping on your beds!

YORK

Fell banning hag, enchantress, hold thy tongue!

JOAN LA PUCELLE

I prithee, give me leave to curse awhile.

YORK

Curse, miscreant, when thou comest to the stake.
 
      Amuse me
 
   
12:36am 09/12/2008
  Joan. Brave Burgundy, undoubted hope of France!
Stay, let thy humble handmaid speak to thee.
Bur. Speak on; but be not over-tedious.
Joan. Look on thy country, look on fertile France, 48
And see the cities and the towns defac’d
By wasting ruin of the cruel foe.
As looks the mother on her lowly babe
When death doth close his tender dying eyes, 52
See, see the pining malady of France;
Behold the wounds, the most unnatural wounds,
Which thou thyself hast giv’n her woeful breast.
O! turn thy edged sword another way; 56
Strike those that hurt, and hurt not those that help.
One drop of blood drawn from thy country’s bosom,
Should grieve thee more than streams of foreign gore:
Return thee therefore, with a flood of tears, 60
And wash away thy country’s stained spots.
Bur. Either she hath bewitch’d me with her words,
Or nature makes me suddenly relent.
Joan. Besides, all French and France exclaims on thee, 64
Doubting thy birth and lawful progeny.
Who join’st thou with but with a lordly nation
That will not trust thee but for profit’s sake?
When Talbot hath set footing once in France, 68
And fashion’d thee that instrument of ill,
Who then but English Henry will be lord,
And thou be thrust out like a fugitive?
Call we to mind, and mark but this for proof, 72
Was not the Duke of Orleans thy foe,
And was he not in England prisoner?
But when they heard he was thine enemy,
They set him free, without his ransom paid, 76
In spite of Burgundy and all his friends.
See then, thou fight’st against thy countrymen!
And join’st with them will be thy slaughtermen.
Come, come, return; return thou wand’ring lord; 80
Charles and the rest will take thee in their arms.
Bur. I am vanquished; these haughty words of hers
Have batter’d me like roaring cannon-shot,
And made me almost yield upon my knees. 84
Forgive me, country, and sweet countrymen!
And, lords, accept this hearty kind embrace:
My forces and my power of men are yours.
So, farewell, Talbot; I’ll no longer trust thee. 88
Joan. Done like a Frenchman: turn, and turn again!
 
      Amuse me
 
   
12:32am 09/12/2008
  Assign'd am I to be the English scourge.
This night the siege assuredly I'll raise:
Expect Saint Martin's summer, halcyon days,
Since I have entered into these wars.
Glory is like a circle in the water,
Which never ceaseth to enlarge itself
Till by broad spreading it disperse to nought.
With Henry's death the English circle ends;
Dispersed are the glories it included.
Now am I like that proud insulting ship
Which Caesar and his fortune bare at once.

AaItbtEs./ TntsaIr:/ ESMs, hd,/ SIheitw./ Gilacitw,/ Wnctei/ Tbbsidtn./ WHdtEce;/ Datgii./ NaIltpis? WCahfbao.
 
      Amuse me
 
   
12:32am 09/12/2008
  D, Iabbasd/ Mwuiakoa./ HaoLghip/ tsomce:/ L, wIwomtl,/ Atsphdmc,/ Gmdtatm/ Aiavfom/ Wmtlmbv/ Afmcfc:/ Haspaas:/ Icgsrh;/ A,wIwbasb,/ Wtcrwsiom/ TbaIbwwys/ Amwqtcp/ AIwau:/ Mctbc, itd,/ AtsftIems,/ Rot, tsbf,/ Itrmftwm

Dauphin, I am by birth a shepherd's daughter,
My wit untrain'd in any kind of art.
Heaven and our Lady gracious hath it pleased
To shine on my contemptible estate:
Lo, whilst I waited on my tender lambs,
And to sun's parching heat display'd my cheeks,
God's mother deigned to appear to me
And in a vision full of majesty
Will'd me to leave my base vocation
And free my country from calamity:
Her aid she promised and assured success:
In complete glory she reveal'd herself;
And, whereas I was black and swart before,
With those clear rays which she infused on me
That beauty am I bless'd with which you see.
Ask me what question thou canst possible,
And I will answer unpremeditated:
My courage try by combat, if thou darest,
And thou shalt find that I exceed my sex.
Resolve on this, thou shalt be fortunate,
If thou receive me for thy warlike mate.
 
      Amuse me
 
   
01:01pm 04/12/2008
  (A televised courtroom. The Judge is seated facing a man and a woman on opposite sides of the room. Both of them are standing in front of a podium. )
Judge Sue:
So, am I to understand, Mr. Cleet Daniels, that you are trying to get your sister Mezanine evicted from your father’s house?
Cleet:
That is correct your honor.
Mezanine:
Your honor I object! He is a good for nothin’ son o’ bitch--
Cleet:
Don’t you talk about our mamma that way!
Judge:
Mrs. Lafler, when I want your opinion I will ask for it. For now, all I am asking is that you two kindly restrain yourself from any further outbursts. Mrs. Lafler, who exactly does this house belong to?
Mezanine:
The house was my daddy’s before he passed away two years ago, God rest his soul.
Judge:
And, how did your father die?
Mez:
It was a bull-riding contest, your honor. That bull trampled all over him.
Cleet:
That is a lie and you know it! Our daddy had a heart attack!
Mez:
He had a heart attack during a bull-riding contest, you heard what Uncle Lindell said!
Judge:
And where exactly did this accident occur?

Mez:
It was out at our Uncle Lindell’s farm, with a few of their drinkin’ buddies, your honor.
Judge:
Now, your father did not have any life insurance, is that correct?
Cleet:
Who’re you askin’, me or her?
Judge:
I am looking at you Mr. Daniels, am I not?
Cleet:
Forgive me, your honor, I have a glass eye in this socket here. No, your honor, our daddy did not have no fancy “life insurance,” on account of the fact that he spent most of his money on hand guns, tequila and Mescaline.
Judge:
Charming. So, Mrs. Lafler, you and your siblings were left to pay for your father’s funeral, am I correct?
Mez:
No, your honor, that is not correct! I paid for that funeral out of my own pocket! Coffin, and ever’thang!
Cleet:
I paid for catering!
Mez:
A tray of cold cuts and ranch dressing is not catering!
Judge:
Order in this court! Mrs. Lafler, what was your financial standing after your father’s funeral?
Mez:
Your honor, I was broke as an artichoke, I could not afford to pay my rent, my electricity, shit, I couldn’t even afford to buy a carton of Virginia Slims!

Judge:
So, you moved into your father’s house?
Mez:
Yes your honor.
Judge:
And, who paid the mortgage?
Mez:
I borrowed a little money from my cousin Jed for the first few months, but once I got a steady job at the porn store, I did your honor.
Judge:
And your siblings did not have a problem with you living in the house while you were paying the mortgage, but then, Mrs. Lafler, you stopped paying the mortgage, is that correct?
Mez:
Your honor, I always paid the mortgage on time when I had the money—
Judge:
You were six months behind, were you not?
Mez:
That is true your honor, I was behind. But I have every intention of paying that money, believe you me—
Judge:
Mrs. Lafler, did your late father have a will?
Mez:
Yes your honor, he specifically states that he wanted me to live in his house after his passing.
Cleet:
Your honor, I object, I saw this will she speaks of and it was not even notarized.
Mez:
You weren’t there! I saw Banjo Sam notarize it with my very own two eyes!
Cleet:
Banjo Sam is not a notary!
Judge:
Order! We are getting off topic here. Mrs. Lafler, where is this will you speak of?
Mez:
Your honor, the will burnt up in my sister Net’s trailer fire. I always told her not to smoke in bed, I said, “Net, ain’t you ever seen those commercials on the television? They say, ‘Don’t smoke in bed or you’ll burn to a crisp,’ you wanna burn to a crisp?”
Judge:
Mrs. Lafler, are you telling me there is no will?
Mez:
There was a will, it burnt up in a trailer fire!
Judge:
Mrs. Lafler, if the will was destroyed in a fire then there is no will. Mr. Daniels, you are also trying to get reparations for the emotional turmoil your sister has caused you over the past few months. Will you please explain what happened on Easter Sunday?
Cleet:
Your honor, Mezanine has always been a terrible drunk, ever since she was 14. I’d rather walk in a dark alley with the anti-Christ standing in it then her when she’s drunk. She was arrested for stabbing her husband 27 times with a car key, she swung a two-by-four at him—
Judge:
Mrs. Lafler, you were arrested on Easter Sunday for assaulting your husband?
Mez:
No, your honor, that is a lie, I was arrested the week before Easter Sunday for solicitation, which I was not guilty of! It was a misunderstandin’, I did not know he was a cop. And I never assaulted my husband, I did not stab him with car keys, and nobody was hit with a stick, I swung!
Cleet:
She is lying her pants off, your honor, she lies!

Judge:
Mr. Daniels, is it true that your sister threw an ash tray at you?
Cleet:
It is true, your honor, I was tryin’ to get her out of the house. Listen, your honor, I wanted to be fair. Our sister Net offered to put up Mezanine and her family in their garage, and I offered to buy her whole family Easter dinner at McDonald’s. She just wouldn’t listen to reason!
Judge:
Mrs. Lafler, you claim that on this very same day, your brother hit you with his car. Now, how exactly did this happen?
Mez:
Your honor, I agreed to leave my daddy’s house until we could get this all sorted out, but I made him go to McDonald’s first. I wasn’t goin’ to have him backing out of his part of the bargain. Your honor, Cleet was backin’ into my driveway at the same time I was walking out to meet him and he ran right into my left leg. I have photos of the damage.
Judge:
Mr. Daniels, is this true?
Cleet:
It is not, your honor, I did nothin’ more’n run over her foot.
Judge:
Mrs. Lafler, if you please, I would like to see your photographs.
(Mezzanine hands the photos to bailiff, who hands them to Judge Sue)
(Judge Sue is baffled)
Mrs. Lafler, these photos are obviously doctored. I appears that you tried to use strawberry jam?
Mez:
That is not true!
Judge:
Mrs. Lafler, how does your leg look now?

Mez:
Your honor, I swear I would’ve had permanent scarring all up my leg if I had not used Neutrogena scar remover. You would not believe the wonders this product does, it made my leg look brand new, and I would love to do a sponsorship with them—
Cleet:
Your honor, I object my sister is not the least bit photogenic and she is a terrible actress!
Judge:
I will have order in this court!
Mez:
(dropping her accent)
Excuse me, that is not in the script, are you blind Johnny? Hmm? You know, just because Cleet Daniel’s has a glass eye doesn’t mean you can get away with not sticking to the fucking cards!
Cleet (Johnny):
You know what Mary? It’s called improvising.
Mez (Mary):
What do you think this is? Comedy sports? Stick to the cards!
Cleet (Johnny):
Your just mad because you know it’s true! You’re the worst actress I have ever worked with!
Mez (Mary):
And you’re just mad because I told you I faked it last night!
Director: (appearing from the shadows)
Alright! Children! We are all waiting here! Do we need to take 5? Or can we do this?
(they both look at him, wordlessly)
Director:
Alright, we’ll pick up where we left off, John, stick to the cards. Mary, don’t quit your day job. Action!
Cleet:
Your honor, I object, my sister is not the least bit photogenic!
Judge:
Mr. Daniel’s as I told your sister, when I want your opinion I will ask for it. Mrs. Lafler you are in court, not an audition for Neutrogena. Now, Mrs. Lafler, since there is no will, your father’s house does not belong to anybody. It does not matter if you pay the mortgage, it will still not be your house. Do you understand?
Mezanine:
Yes ma’m.
Judge:
And since there is no evidence of the incident you speak of with the car, I cannot give you any reparations whatsoever. You have 30 days to leave your father’s house. Case Closed.
Mez: (while exiting)
Don’t you stand there lookin’ so smug Cleet, you think you’re so great because you play washboard in your very own Bluegrass band, well you and all the Good Ole’ Boys can’t play worth shit! You call that finger pickin’? You ain’t gettin’ that house, ain’t nobody getting’ that house, where’s the nice tractor, huh? It’s at Net’s house and you ain’t gonna be there! (she exits)
Director:
Okay, cut. Bring in the feuding butler and maid.
FIN
 
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01:16pm 20/11/2008
  GOING FOR A WALK

JAMES:
Are you ready to go?

Molly:
Go? Go where?

James:
For a walk! We were all going to go out for a walk. Weren’t we?

Molly:
Well this is the first I’ve heard of it…

James:
Molly, you’re telling me you don’t remember five minutes ago when I came in here and said, “It’s a nice night. We should all go walk down to Sam’s.”

Molly:
I haven’t the foggiest idea what you are talking about.

Lisa:
Get your shoes on. You still want to go on that walk right?

James:
Yes. Wait, when did you get here?

Molly:
She’s always here.

James:
Oh, right. What are you doing anyway?

Molly:
I’m trying to figure out this puzzle.

Lisa:
What’s the picture, maybe I can help.

Molly:
Oh no, surely not. I’ve lost the box.

James:
Where did it go?


Ian:
Where all lost things go, I imagine. Before they return to the last place you left them.

Lisa:
Coincidentally the last place you think to look.

Molly:
Now that’s just silly.

Lisa:
Oh?

Ian:
Do tell.

Molly:
Obviously we find the things we’ve lost in the last place we think to look because once we’ve found them, we have absolutely no need to look for them any longer. Am I wrong?

James:
So you don’t think God is toying with us?

Molly:
Oh heavens yes! Of course God is toying with us, but he is not quite so obvious about it.

Lisa:
Weren’t we doing something?

Ian:
Of course we were, we are always doing something unless we are dead. I think you mean weren’t we about to do something. Something else, that is. Other than what we are already doing.

Molly:
What are we doing here?

James:
God only knows.

Lisa:
Sam’s. We were getting ready to take a walk to Sam’s.

Molly:
That sounds nice. Hang on, I just need to finish this rainbow.

Ian:
Do rainbows end?

Lisa:
I would assume so. Everything that has a beginning has an end.

James:
Maybe. Maybe rainbows don’t begin, or end. Maybe rainbows are always there, we just can’t see them until it rains.

Molly:
It’s raining now, I see no rainbow.

James:
Not everyone gets to see rainbows. You have to be at the right place at just the right time.

Ian:
Does time end?

Lisa:
Did it ever begin?

Ian:
What in the world has no beginning and no end?

Lisa:
A circle?

Ian:
Is time a circle?

James:
If time is a circle, then do we do this over and over and over and over again?

Molly:
Do what?

James:
Whatever it is we are doing.

Lisa:
Walking.

Molly:
How absurd, if I were walking, how could I finish this puzzle?
Ian:
Perhaps Lisa meant, we are walking through life, blind to what will happen, but nevertheless, we must keep walking. Sometimes we go fast, sometimes slow, sometimes we skip and dance and cartwheel. But still, we must keep going. On and on our own personal strange and exiting journey down the road of life, the road of time…

James:
That’s right! We were going for a walk, to Sam’s. I’ll get my shoes.

Ian:
What’s at Sam’s?

Molly:
Sam’s at Sam’s.

Ian:
How delightful, I like Sam. Well then, let’s go.

Molly: (searching absent mindedly)
Orange…

Lisa:
Wait, so are we going on a walk to see Sam, or are we going to see Sam to go on a walk?

Ian:
I don’t see why we can’t have it both ways.

Lisa:
I don’t think that makes sense.

Molly: (looking down at the piece in her hand)
Blue?! What?!

Ian:
My dear, whoever said anything about life making sense? When you take a few moments, hours, even years to think about life, why, you might find that there is more nonsense in the world than anything else!

James:
Nonsense! What are you talking about?

Ian:
You hit the nail on the head, my friend. Have you got your shoes on?

James:
Oh, right. (looking down at his hands) Huh. I have my left shoe, and my right sock.
Lisa:
Can you tell the difference between your socks?

James:
Well it’s certainly not the wrong sock.

Molly:
No! Blue again?! I’m being attacked by blue.

Ian:
Coo Coo Ca Choo
 
      Amuse me
 
   
08:35pm 04/06/2008
  é í ú ó á

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      Amuse me
 
   
09:03pm 28/05/2008
  OUTLINE WORKSHEET MOTIVATED SEQUENCE DESIGN

(adapted from: Osborn & Osborn, 1997)

SPEECH TITLE

Topic:
Specific Purpose:
Thesis Statement:
I. Introduction
A. Attention Material (focus attention on problem): CHARLOTTE ALLEN

B. Tie to Audience: So what, right? It's not that big of a deal. Unfortunately, not all sexist behavior is as small. One in four women in college...

C. Credibility Material: chat about my history w/feminism

D. Thesis & Preview: I think everybody is either...
It is ridiculous for me to even think about explaining every women's rights issue that needs attention. Rather, I want to dispel the myth of "post-feminism," and hopefully change your minds about what feminism is, and is not.

(Transition into Body of Speech)

II. Body
A. Main Point #1 --

1.(Statement of Need for Action)

*a.(Description of Problem) In general, discrimination against women is ideas and actions that place women in roles that are inferior, weak, stupid, and in general, below men. Sexism at it's best turns women into 2nd class citizens, and at worst sexism turns women into slaves to the man, or dead.

*b.(Signs, Symptoms, Effects of Problem) USA STATS

*c.(Example, Narrative, or Testimony) STORY

2. (Importance of Problem) DUH!!! (VERY)

*a.(Extent of Problem) WORLDWIDE!!!

*b.(Facts/Statistics) WW STATS

*c.(Expert Testimony) "EPIC QUOTE" Because women's work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repetitious and we're the first to get fired and what we look like is more important than what we do and if we get raped it's our fault and if we get beaten we must have provoked it and if we raise our voices we're nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we're nymphos and if we don't we're frigid and if we love women it's because we can't get a "real" man and if we ask our doctor too many questions we're neurotic and/or pushy and if we expect childcare we're selfish and if we stand up for our rights we're aggressive and "unfeminine" and if we don't we're typical weak females and if we want to get married we're out to trap a man and if we don't we're unnatural and because we still can't get an adequate safe contraceptive but men can walk on the moon and if we can't cope or don't want a pregnancy we're made to feel guilty about abortion and...for lots of other reasons we are part of the women's liberation movement. ~Author unknown, quoted in The Torch, 14 September 1987

3. (Who is Affected) EVERYBODY

*a. (Facts/Statistics) Men quote

*b. (Example/Narrative) Tupac.

(Transition into Main Point 2)

B. Main Point #2 (Present Solution that Satisfies Need)

1. (Description of Solution) Will there ever be an end to discrimination against women? Who knows. ... The more people who identify as feminists, the less sexism will be seen as socially acceptable or,"just the way things are."

*a. (How Solution Satisfies Need) If everybody was a feminist, then nobody would need to be a feminist, because everybody would at least understand that sexism is not normal. I am tired...

*b. (How Solution can be Implemented) Think globally, act locally

(1) (Plan of Action) Just start small

(2) (Steps of Plan)

(i) (Step 1 of Plan) Acknowledge discrimination against women/ Make it as important as all other discrimination.

(ii) (Step 2 of Plan) Fight for our right/ At least support women's rights/ Talk about it/ read about it

(Transition into Main Point 3) If everybody does these things, if...

C. Main Point #3 (Visualize Results) Discrimination against women will diminish...

1. (Describe Expected Results of Action) Imagine a day when the glass ceiling shatters, when women can walk home at night, or collect firewood without the worry of impending sexual assalt, when women can be aggresive without being labeled a bitch, imagine a day when there won't be a need for feminism at all.

2. (Describe Consequences of Inaction) I hope you want that world as much as I do. In any fight for human rights, the more people who desire, speak up, and fight for equality, the faster change can occur. However, I know in my heart that there will still be strong voices out there for feminism.

(Transition into Conclusion) Because, as Martin Luther King Jr. said in his letter from Birmingham jail, "(quote)"

III. Conclusion
A. Brakelight: Discrimination against women is an issue of global perportion that affects everybody, male of female.

B. Summary: Feminism, in all forms, is a joint movement working toward the general universal goal of the social, economic, and political equality between the sexes. There is a sect of feminism that will fit the specific views of just about every individual who holds that general value.

C. Tie Back to Audience: So if you believe that women should be socially, politically, and economically equal to men, and you are willing to share your voice concerning your beliefs, you are a feminist. Even if you are not willing to vocalize your beliefs, you are still a feminist. At the very least, you can call yourselves pro-feminism.

D. Concluding Remarks: (Call for Action!) Feminism is the radical belief that women are people. Discrimination against women is a human issue, and there is absolutely no reason why it should not be acknowledged, and obliterated. Thank you and good night.
 
      Amuse me
 
Myth Outline   
08:49am 15/05/2008
  Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was...a mountain.
On this mount. lived the 12 most revered Gods and Goddesses in the world!
Mountain=Olympus,
12 Goddesses/Gods=Dodekatheon
When I was young...

Hestia: Goddess of the Hearth, the home, everything domestic.
Every fireplace was an alter to her.
Homer wrote, "She was the first born child of Cronos, and the youngest too."

Dionysus: God of wine
Replaced Hestia = Unlucky 13

Hermes: God of commerce, trade, speed, and thieves; the Messenger God
winged shoes

Aphrodite: Goddess of Love, Sex and Beauty
Not a virgin!

Hephaestus: Blacksmith God
Makes Zeus' thunderbolts
story

Ares: God of War
violent war
Sparta

Athena: Goddess of Wisdom
Strategic war
Athens

Apollo: God of the Sun and light
drove the chariot
sunflower

Artimis: Goddess of the Hunt and Archery
associated with maidens; virgin

Demeter: Goddess of the seasons, fertility and agriculture
Persephone

Posiedon: God of the Sea
father of Triton

Hera: Queen of the Gods,
the wife of...

Zeus: King of the Gods

Those are the 12 Olympians...
There are many more...
Greek mythology is rich
 
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